Don’t say anything. The government is never wrong.
Seventy-two-year old Daljinder Kaur delivered a healthy baby boy, Arman Singh, on April 19. That’s a mere 46 years after her marriage and over 20 years after menopause.
Desperate to have a child, Kaur’s wish could be fulfilled through in-vitro fertilization, where everything is done in a sanitized test tube. It’s also away from the dust, cobwebs and Daljinder.
Kaur’s 79-year-old husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, travelled regularly with her to the treatment center in Haryana since 2013 to ensure the success of the treatment. Because Mohinder wanted to be ever ready. He was bunny-like. He fell in love with Dixie cups.
Follow up story two days later is that gramps wanted granny to get prego so he could inherit some contested family property. This had been going for years.
Well, it looks like the baby will inherit some property in the future…… very near future.
The parents were so old, the baby was born with a beard.
The most recent numbers from the California Tax Board show nearly 90 percent of the money comes from 20% of the taxpayers…… those making $91,000 and up. And about 60% pay nothing at all.
It works just like in the pictures!
From an average of almost $173,000 per return in 1994, the average adjusted gross income for the top fifth of taxpayers reached nearly $238,000 by 2013, a 38 percent increase. So under this administration and the new Democratic governor, the well-off got much more well off.
Forty-five percent of the state’s income tax money comes from the top 1 percent of filers – those with adjusted gross income of at least $501,000. Those taxpayers recorded an average adjusted gross income of $1.6 million in 2013, almost double what it was in 1994! Shazam!
Average adjusted gross income for middle income filers in the second-highest fifth dropped by about 1 percent, from $67,507 to $66,746. Adjusted gross income in the second-lowest fifth declined the most, 9 percent, from an average of $22,391 to $20,411.
Really, if the poor and middle class would just take this stuff they’d be fine!
This is not the redistribution of wealth we were expecting. How’s that hopey changey thingy working for the middle class and poor? Notso hotso.
Do you think it’s true when people say if you took all the money in the US and divided it up equally, so that everybody had the same amount, in 20 years, the same people would end up rich and the same people would be poor? I do.
When a joint or martini just won’t do.
Methodist Bishop Maria Alonzo Caronita Cha Cha Cha’s church receives millions of dollars in federal grants each year to house unaccompanied alien children. She claimed in a House hearing on that the U.S. has “raped” immigrants’ home countries. Here is her story.
Hey lady! This is the real reason!
Her Pacific Coast section of the church’s Board of Child Care has received over $7.6 million in federal grants in the last three years to provide shelter and services for unaccompanied alien children who are apprehended crossing into the U.S. illegally.
“What is your church doing to discourage people from coming to the United States illegally and staying in the United States illegally?” Virginia Rep. Bob Goodlatte (not a drink at Starbucks) asked the bishop during a hearing of the House Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee on Immigration and Border Security.
“We are working to welcome everyone using the American’s taxpayers’ dollars for non-citizens”. Vets should like reading that…..
“We also provide them all with a case of Coca Cola and some fancy clothes!”
“That is very concerning to me,” the Congressman replied, adding that the United Methodist Church (UMC) was “essentially aiding and abetting” illegal aliens.
“We do not ask people their immigration status when they are hungry,” said Cha Cha Cha. Nor do they turn down big money to break the law she failed to add.
That’s when the bishop launched into an attack on U.S. foreign policy, claiming America has forced Central Americans to flee their homes and come here. She explained that’s why when people protest, they wave flags from their own countries they left behind. They want America to become just like those rotten places they fled so they can be miserable here too! She really didn’t say that, but I thought it was clever.
There is not one gang member, terrorist or felon in the group. See, here’s a picture!
“Immigrants want to stay home,” she said. “They’re not able to stay home because we’ve undermined their economies. We have raped their lands.”
When asked how that was done, she instantly became a mute that did not know any English or sign language. Pity.
A giant woman with alcohol. Revered by tiny men with none.
If you are into porn ……things are about to get a lot weirder with the upcoming addition of Ted Cruz look-alike Searcy Rendaring’s sex tape. She catapulted to national spotlight recently when she appeared on The Maury Show.
Everybody noticed she looked like Ted Cruz in drag. From that you know she is not a looker. Neither is Ted.
So that sudden flurry of publicity drew the interest of the porn website XHamster. They offered the 21-year-old and her 25-year-old fiancé Gilbert Befat thousands of dollars for a short sex tape……six minutes. I guess that’s the limit of even the strangest aficionado.
Everybody’s running out to get it!
For $10,000, the Rendaring/Befat duo will be recording sex tape that’s yet to be titled. That’s about $1,666.66 for each steaming minute. Steaming as like a fresh cow pie on a chilly fall day.
The Mississippi mother-of-one says she didn’t have to think twice about making a sex tape because she’s done them before and she needs money. “I’m okay with the tape. I want the Tubman’s.” she said. “I wanna spoil my kid rotten.”
Really Searcy? Who names a kid Rotten?
XHamster spokesman Mike Issis was quoted, “Ted Cruz with a wig is right up our alley. I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action. Or maybe they wanted to see Ted Cruz in action. Either way, it works”.
Rendaring’s fiancée is ecstatic over his love bucket being famous. “It’s kind of exciting to know she’s famous ………why she’s more famous than Madonna!” he commented.
Madonna immediately issued a fatwa on the family.
It will be filmed on a smart phone…… smart, but hopefully blind.
Little Simba, an apricot toy poodle was among the first to try a special bathroom at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport. It was one of the first among a growing number of “pet relief facilities” being installed in larger airports.
This dog is a frequent flyer and has his own orchard in Australia. Koalas work for him.
“There’s a fire hydrant in there!” Simba’s owner, Heidi Hohoho, squealed with joy as she pushed the twin the paw print-marked doors between the men’s and women’s rooms open.
Most millennials used the paw print door too. They have no idea who or what they are.
Little Simba marched his fuzzy wuzzy cuteness right up to the little red hydrant atop a little hill of artificial turf and promptly peed on Heidi’s new Sparkle Sketchers. A dispenser of plastic doggie bags and a hose was provided for the owners to clean the area or themselves up for the next duo. Luckily, Heidi had a Wet-Nap handy.
After that, Heidi strapped this on Little Simba and hewas immediately housebroken.
The 70-square-foot room, at JFK’s Terminal 4, allows dogs and other animals to relieve themselves without to go outside – which requires a second trip through the security line. “Other animals”……..hmmmmm.
Guide dogs, emotional support animals even homely children traveling with passengers are welcome to use the facilities. I wonder if this will apply to trans species. You know, like an iguana that thinks it’s a cat…. or a human that thinks they’re a dog. Time will tell.
A federal regulation will require that all airports that service over 10,000 passengers per year install a pet relief area in every terminal by this August. Thank God for big government addressing animal body functions!
And you thought peeing issues were just for manly girls and womanly boys and those that don’t know or just wanna try something new. Oh relax, it’s the truth.
….and where does this one go? Anywhere they want to……
Aaaaaand what if your emotional support mini pig doesn’t feel safe peeing around a big hairy dog? What then Cupcake?
Just think of the nervous little support bunnies around mean old puddy tats! They will certainly need their own pebble pooping area. What then…..huh, what then?
Serious….where would a manly Puss in Boots go?
Val Rust, a professor of education and information at UCLA, was the target of the protestors for what they feel was racial insensitivity and micro-aggressions. The “aggrieved minority students,” claim that the professor was wrong to correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar in the papers of minority students.
This picture triggered micro-aggressions as well.
Yes, a Professor of Education was wrong to correct spelling punctuation and grammar…..of college students! I know…..incredible.
Call 2 Action: Graduate Students of Color, launched a sit-in to protest this outrage, said the act of correcting a minority student was “micro-aggression.”
Yes….. even gentle enough for a college student.
But it gets better……
The group issued the following statement:
“A hostile campus climate has been the norm for Students of Colors in this class throughout the quarter as our epistemological and methodological commitments have been repeatedly questioned by our classmates and our instructor. The barrage of questions by white colleagues and the grammar ‘lessons’ by the professor have contributed to a hostile class climate.”
First of all, if you cannot read, write or speak English in college, how would any of them know what “epistemological and methodological commitments” means? Certainly the students were clueless……
My advice is that these students immediately quit school, get the psychological help they desperately need and repeat elementary school. Then come back and complete their education once they are potty trained.
A college textbook of today.
Who wants to wager if they are there on some free tuition program? Anybody?
Political correctness…..when there’s just not enough cuckoo in your life.
In a quiet residential street in Kawasaki Japan is a remodeled workshop with a creepy gray exterior and black draped windows. It is also creepy to live in a city named after a motorbike. Just sayin……
Jean-Paul would have named the city Zee Fastone.
What’s inside? Sousou! It’s one of Japan’s newest corpse hotels! A camouflaged morgue used to store some of Japan’s mounting pile of bodies waiting to be toasted in one of the nation’s overworked and overloaded crematoriums. People are simply croaking at a record rate.
“Crematories need to be built, but there isn’t any space to do so and that is creating funeral refugees,” said Hisao Takegishi, who opened the business in 2014.
Whenever Yu Tu Fani was ill his doctor just replaced parts. He wasn’t cremated when he passed……… he was recycled.
I say let the funeral refugees into the US. They’re safer and don’t eat as much!
For a mere $82 a day, family members can keep their deceased relative in one of Sousou’s 10 rooms for up to four days until a crematorium can be found.
You know, that Fukishima nuclear reactor is still leaking. Couldn’t they just be clever and use that to char a bunch up and get rid of the back log?
Japanese use to be so clever. Put that leaky reactor to work!
Let’s be creative. Never waste a good fire.
A sex toy found by a 21-year-old rural Indonesian fisherman, Hoo Siurd Addee was taken home, dressed up, and worshiped as an angel for weeks, proving yet again that love is a many splendor thing.
This is an angel. See the wings?
The fisherman took the doll to his village, where it was dressed in a blouse, skirt, and hijab. His parents reportedly changed its clothes every day “as a sign of respect.” Dirty Harriet felt loved for only the 1,873rd time in her life.
Reports note the “naked, fair-skinned girl” impressed Hoo with her “round green eyes and an expression of ambiguous rapture.” She even looked like she was singing. Awwwww.
My angel is a what???????
Photos and word spread online, along with rumors that it was a “bidadari,” a type of spirit or angel. That rumor was bolstered by a solar eclipse that occurred shortly before the doll was found and reports that it had been crying when the fisherman found it……but Harriet was just leaking air.
Police launched an investigation. They determined the angel was actually a blowup sex doll and confiscated the angel.
Nobody has seen anything of the three man police department for weeks. Just a stack of empty frozen pizza boxes outside the police station door.
They kidnapped Harriet?
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