A Barrel Full of Monkeys!
Hot off the press!
They are celebrating that Trump missed them!
Senior Prom day and Buddy Bewittle of Menudo MN, needed a date. So he did what any video game lover would do he took a copy of Super Smash Mario Brothers with him…..as a date.
Buddy looked quite young for 18.
It was a decision that happened “in the heat of the moment,” he told a local reporter. It was his first ‘heat of the moment” experience and his first date of eighteen game filled years.
His mother photographed him with the disc in its case. He gave his Mumzie the corsage he bought because his disc was too hard.
He and his disc danced the night away. He held his disc close during the slow songs.
Math teacher Mr Vitale and Art teacher Miss Pemberton jittering!
Bewittle has no regrets and actually had the “the time of his life” at what was his first date. Buddy and his disc……. a love story.
That night he kissed his disc goodnight and happily fell asleep. It was not a floppy disc.
If it’s wrong to dress up as a race, ethnic, or religion group; does this offend poultry?
The Grinch is real and he’s a Marlboro man. He caused a Dr Seuss themed Christmas float to go up in flames because of his smokey treat.
Never trust a hairy pea green man.
The float, a mobile version of Whoville, where Dr Seuss’ characters live, was headed for a parade in Hunstville, Alabama when it burnt down to its axles, thanks to the Grinch driving the car in the float ahead of Whoville.
The Grinch tossed his butt (cigarette type) out the window of his pickup and it landed smack dab on Whoville’s hay bales, which caught fire faster Jill Stein’s recount campaign.
The Whoville float burnt down and only a few elements could be saved. Just like in the movie. Sorta.
The Whoville float was impressive.
But did the float builders just stand around and sing like in the movie? Nope. They started a Go Fund Me page and raised $15,000. They only had $1,000 in the daggone float!
They went out and partied like the Clinton’s until CNN started calling rust belt states for Trump. Then they partied like deplorables……which they were.
Music was supplied by Katrina Concertina.
A Russian built jeep carrying the ashes of Cuban dictator Fidel Castro broke down in the middle of his funeral procession recently, forcing soldiers to push the vehicle. Fitting…..dead jeep, dead dictator.
There was an ash crash too.
Nearly every major news website buried the news. It was symbolic of the Cuban regime’s economic failures and those of socialism in general. Indeed.
After a final farewell at Havana’s Revolutionary Square, the former president’s remains, glass-encased casket, began moving east in a cross-country drive through towns, cities and countryside. Failure under glass.
The global left and the American media have mourned Castro, whose chief achievement was maintaining an iron grip on power for half a century in defiance of opposition from the United States. His brutal human rights abuses and complete economic failures have been downplayed.
The Cuban internet. Donated in 1962 by the City of New York.
I know, he had national healthcare………in rundown facilities……and killed or imprisoned the opposition. Now Cubans have a chance for a better life.
Chimpanzees can spot their friends just as easily from a peek at their rear end as a look at their face. One glance can offer clues to attractiveness and health.
In fact, the team found chimpanzees process rear ends just as efficiently as we process faces. Great study…..right?
“Faces are important for people, and all the features of our faces are optimally arranged to be seen and to communicate,” said Hoodah Keister, a neuropsychologist She studies monkey bums.
They believe this is why female apes have evolved hairless buttocks, and why human faces evolved hairless. Now this is getting good.
Brazilian ax shaving. Painful.
“In the course of evolution, our faces have acquired more contrast: red lips, the whites of our eyes, eyebrows and a smooth skin that makes everything more visible,” she said. Female chimps only have access to berries for (back there) makeup.
Primates’ eyes are good at distinguishing red tints. That’s why not only emotional expressions, such as blushing when we are angry or shy, become more visible, but also sexual arousal.
It explains why the buttocks of female chimpanzees are red and women wear lipstick and blush. If you gave the chimps lipstick, I wonder where they might apply it.
A little makeup changes everything. See how pretty?
Keister said, “It’s not without reason the face and buttocks of female primates that are free of hair, which makes the skin and color all the more visible.”
And chimps wonder just like their human counterparts; “Maybe it’s her, maybe it’s Maybe-lline”.
A man’s dingaling magically moved to his knees after he slept with a married woman, according to a report from Kenya. The man, who has not been named, said his plumbing moved position in the blink of an eye.
Planning a trip?
Some believe that the woman’s husband put a curse on him after discovering the affair. Advice to readers. When a strange man from Kenya asks you to site on his knee; just say “No”.
The internet pics are pixilated. So is my head.
Tens of thousands of Indian asthma-sufferers swallow live sardines filled and smeared with a yellow herbal paste in a ritual that they believe will cure their breathing problems.
Sounds like a frat party!
Mermaid sardines? Shocking!
The Gouda Sheese family that administers the treatment in the southern city of Hyderabad say ancestors received the secret formula from a Hindu saint about 170 years ago. They refuse to reveal the mixture’s ingredients but it’s rumored to taste like KFC.
The fish is sold by the Telangana government and private groups, costing people 15 rupees, or about 7 cents, per fish. But the deductible is two chickens and a goat. It’s like Obamacare……but less fishy.
The family offers the treatment annually on a day chosen by astrologers. Family member Pathini Parinath Gouda Sheese said the treatment starts on a Wednesday morning and will continue for 24 hours. Dat’s lotsa sushi.
Pathini Parinath Gouda Sheese taking a break sardine break.
The herbal paste is slipped into the sardines and then put into the mouth of the asthma-sufferers. Where’s PETA? Force feeding sardines is inhumane.
People who swallow the live herb stuffed fish are told to follow a strict diet for 45 days. They must abstain from prime rib and whale blubber. They can only eat lamb innards, rice, Skittles, moose knuckles, Yak cheese, spinach and clarified butter.
Everybody loses weight, swims and breathes better. But they stink.
But what’s worse than stink head?
The brains of people who feel “God’s spirit” are stimulated in a way similar to the earthlier desires of enjoying drugs, music, gambling and sex, scientists have revealed. Interested?
Feeling the spirit in the 40’s with crepe paper pom poms.
Researchers used MRI scans to look into the brains of Mormons experiencing religious ecstasy. I cannot make this stuff up……Mormons.
Scientists enlisted 19 church-going teenagers to take part in an hour long “exam” with four parts for the study. Church goers. Like final exams?
The scientists recorded their reactions and studied the parts of the brain stimulated. Ready to get shocked?
This included six minutes of rest, six minutes of a video detailing their church’s membership statistics, eight minutes of quotations by Mormon and world religious leaders, eight minutes of reading familiar passages from the Book of Mormon, 12 minutes of church-produced video of family and Biblical scenes and another eight minutes of quotations. Yawning? Nope!
Guess what they found out. Just guess kiddies.
Relax! It’s a government photo.
Sex can have the same impact on the brain as when a religious person feels the “spirit of God”. Now don’t get bent outta shape……it’s what the gray matter does. It’s not saying it’s the same thing.
The brain becomes active when study participants reported having a spiritual experience. It activated the brain’s “reward center”.
Bioengineer Dr Dennis Dreamer, said: “When our study participants were instructed to think about a savior, being with their families for eternity and heavenly rewards, their brains and bodies physically responded.”
A spiritual feeling of closeness to God in oneself is a critically important part of Mormons’ lives and they make decisions based on these feelings. They see them as a confirmation of doctrinal principles and as a means of communication with the divine. Good for them.
The seven women and 12 men, all former missionaries, were shown videos related to their religion – including a clip detailing their church’s membership statistics – and were told to press a button when they ‘felt the Spirit’.
When they pushed the button, their brain responses were recorded using MRI scans and their heart and breathing rates were also recorded. Like your Facebook posts.
Acupuncture at an early stage.
The scans revealed that when the teenagers felt connected to God, an area of their brain called the nucleus accumbens was activated. The accumbens is known as the brain’s “reward center” and it is also activated when people think about love, sex, drugs and gambling.
Hooooooly smoke! Mind blown.
It is assumed that deep spiritual connections are common in religions worldwide. Guess non-believers may be missing out on something. Just saying.
….for when you need to take gas.
The Ukrainian region of Polesia, 200 miles east of the Chernobyl nuclear disaster, has become a goldmine for foragers seeking mushrooms and berries. All of which are contaminated with radiation. A glow in the dark goldmine.
Attractive packaging sells!
In 2015, Ukraine exported 1,300 tons of fresh berries and 17,251 tons of frozen berries to the European market. That is more than 30 times as much as in 2014. The berry picking brings in money for locals as well. A picker can earn $20 to $30 a day, whereas a local schoolteacher earns $80 a month…..non union.
If you eat enough, you will have a foot grow out of your head which is just as bad as a dingaling on your knee.
America….. what have we become?
The caterwauling we’ve been treated to by some since the election has been farcical. My fave is the snowflakes retreat to “safe spaces” with puppies, candy and coloring books to assuage their intense anguish. But we beat that puppy to death…….
Their big justification is Clinton won the “popular vote” so she should win. Dump the outdated Electoral College!
Our Founders created the Electoral College to ensure the states were fairly represented. Otherwise a few densely populated areas speak for the entire nation.
These statistics have been making the rounds on the Internet and it should finally put an end to the argument as to why the Electoral College makes sense. There are 3,141 counties in the United States.
Trump won 3,084 of them.
Clinton won 57.
There are 62 counties in New York State.
Trump won 46 of them.
Clinton won 16.
Clinton won the popular vote by around two million votes.
In the 5 counties that encompass NYC, (Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Richmond & Queens) Clinton received well over 2 million more votes than Trump. (Clinton only won 4 counties; Trump won one)
Therefore, these 5 counties alone, accounted for Clinton winning the popular vote of the entire country. Let that sink in……
These 5 counties comprise 319 square miles.
The United States is comprised of 3,797,000 square miles.
When you have a country that encompasses almost 4 million square miles of territory, it would be ludicrous to even suggest that the vote of those who inhabit a mere 319 square miles should dictate the outcome of a national election.
Large, densely populated Democrat cities (NYC, Chicago, LA, etc) don’t and shouldn’t speak for the rest of our country. They just don’t.
If you can, think about the House of Representative (based on population) and the Senate, two reps per state. Balance.
That should make sense to either Democrat or Republican. The electoral college is genius.
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PEACE on Earth
A high wire act unlike any other!
Save me Donald! I won’t prosecute ya Hillary…..the FBI will!
Somebody apparently fed Trump horse tranquilizers so he became boring, electable and left the cats alone. Hillary’s wiping skills were not good enough to erase Anthony Weiner’s hot dog pics or Trump’s electoral lead. It was the most exciting, crazy controversial wackadoodle election of all times.
A distasteful deeeeelight.
These cats were not mishandled by Trump. They had bumbershoots for protection.
Real masks worn during the plague…..and political commercials.
How about this? A female patient has been left badly burnt after she passed gas during surgery and caused a laser to burst into flames. Jou Luk Ouwet, in her 30s, was undergoing surgery at Tokyo Medical University Hospital which involved a laser being used in lady type surgery.
The fiery explosion left her with mild body burns and the operating staff with no eyebrows. It’s is tragic….but wouldn’t you love to see the expression on the doctors when it all went Kaboom?
Jou Luk could actually export natural gas while singing “I’m a Little Teapot”.
Florida resident Bernie Bagguss, 54, was first arrested one morning on a domestic violence charge for allegedly striking his wife Hagatha during an early morning argument in their home. A police report notes that drugs and alcohol appear to have played a role in the confrontation. It’s a love story.
….you need a nice color selection to be trendy.
Following the arrest, Bagguss was transported to the Largo Medical Center for treatment. Hagatha was stout and could swing a frying pan. She was fine.
While in the emergency room, Bagguss removed his glass eye and then threw it at the ER doctor and ER nurse,” a Largo Police Department officer reported. He was going for a 7-10 split.
Before flinging the glass orb, Bagguss was instructed by hospital personnel and a cop to not take the eye out in the first place. Apparently when people with glass eyes get angry they wanna take the eyeball out and hit somebody with it. Very common.
Nurse Ratchet to Nurse Snoot, “So I stuffed an Spanish olive in his eye socket. He was clueless”.
He ignored those commands and yelled, “I can do whatever I wanna.” So he did.
The airborne eye does not appear to have caused any injuries. However, it landed near Nurse Rachet and looked up her skirt. Ratchet no likey dat!
She immediately kicked it down the hall to pediatrics where children playing marbles in the hall. Too bad for Mr Bagguss…..little Timothy Hunsberger 5, was playing for keeps.
Finder’s keepers, loser’s weepers. Mr Bagguss can be a pirate next Halloween. Aaaaargh matey!
…..but a sailor is not a pirate!
Glamour’s annual Women of the Year list always covers a lot of iconic world women, from fashion leaders to athletes to normal and whacko activists to business leaders. Not to be outdone by ESPN naming a woman with exterior plumbing intact (Bruce Caitlyn Jenner) as their woman of the year, Glamour Magazine named U2’s Bono to their list of woman of the year.
Not to be outdone, Cosmo has named Wilbert Gleeble “Hot Bearded Babe of the Century”.
“We’ve talked for years about whether to honor a man at Women of the Year and we’ve always kind of put the kabash on it. You know, men get a lot of awards and aren’t exactly hurting in the celebration and honors department,” said Robert Elizabeth Groner, Glamour’s chedditer in cheese.
“But now that men are women and women are men and you can use any public bathroom or shower you want, we just decided who cares about DNA and gender. Let’s do whatever is trendy and makes zero sense!”
Julia Pastrana. Four foot six. A real lady and a fascinating story. Look it up!
Bono does many great things for charity, but he was recognized as a female leader because he wore a shirt promoting feminism. Good thing he didn’t wear a shirt promoting hunting.
The Hydo-Lux Pulsatronic lung evacuator for allergies.
Energy drinks are often combined with alcohol in mixed drinks, and a new study in mice hints at how that combination may change the brain. It’s all the rage with young party people.
Ache and fever.
In the study, mice that were given energy drinks along with alcohol had changes in their brains similar to those seen in mice given cocaine. I know….how do mice act on cocaine? Talk fast? Stay up all night? Lose weight? Become a Hollywood star? I dunno.
No wonder millennials need safe place. Remember when butter was bad for you? Ahhhh, the good old days……
The final remnant of Obamacare…..Get well or we”ll come back!
If you happen to find yourself in Sydney Australia, you have the unique opportunity to have ummmm, make ummmm sweet love with Mother Earth. You just need to stop by the “ecosexual bathhouse,” which is currently part of the Syndey LiveWorks Festival of experimental art. My head exploded too.
Look it up. Very strange.
That’s Earth not Goose kiddos! Honk if you’re happy!
The bathhouse is an interactive installation created by artists Loren Kronemyer and Ian Sinclair, who described the work to me as a “no-holds-barred extravaganza meant to dissolve the barriers between species as we descend into oblivion” as the result of our global environmental crisis. Note to these guys….. dirt is not a species. They say it is……..
They claim it’s gathering momentum worldwide. Like a cow patty rolling downhill.
Jennifer Mudd, a PhD candidate in sociology at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, says the number of people who identify as ecosexuals has increased markedly in the past two years. And Google search data confirms that interest in the term has spiked dramatically over the past year.
Well, pretty and artsy does help……but it’s still bizarre.
We may look back on 2016 as the year ecosexuality hit the mainstream. Wait….it only gets weirder.
Amanda Huggin-Kiss, a faculty member at the UNLV School of Community Health Sciences, says that ecosexuality could be measured in a sense not unlike the Kinsey Scale.
On one end, it encompasses people who simply try to use sustainable sex products like using solar power instead of batteries. Awkward getting through airport security.
Tarfus Unipoom from Iceland took things too far one day. What can you say?
Or, there are those who simply enjoy skinny dipping and naked hiking. Now that’s not too far out unless you’re hiking through WalMart. But….
On the other hand, there are people who roll around in the dirt and have “that moment” covered in potting soil, she said. And, there are people who make mad love to trees, shrubs, flowers or a bush. But not a George W….. that Bush would be too odd.
Antonio’s mother prepared him for everything…..he still lives at home.
Well, the cast of the musical Hamilton (where actors pretend our founding fathers were culturally diverse) joined the snowflakes and paid election protesters in declaring Trump and Pence unsuitable for America! How very brave. Elections have no meaning.
Don’t vote, protest, wet the bed. The new wash, rinse, repeat.
He’s spinning in his grave like bald tires on ice.
Obama thinks it’s wonderful, “March like the wind my sheeple! It’s your right! Just save my legacy”.
Hillary is in a refrigerator box, in her basement (next to her favorite server) with a binkie and an old pair old Huma’s tennis shoes. She wants everybody to move to Canada with the Hollywood loonies!
Protesters marching because they lost are just publicly crying because there were no participation trophies for them. They are the unspanked generation. They are also paid protesters. Yes, $10-15 an hour on Craigslist. Transportation included.
I want my waaaaaaay, right now! Waaaaah!
The best gig is if you can travel. $1,000-1,500 a week if you know how to carry a sign…extra, if willing to be a troublemaker. Yes, people are now paid (tax free) to be jerks without interfering with their Welfare checks, unemployment and some baby snowflakes even got out of mumsy’s and dada’s basement for a whole week like weal gwown ups!
Except: 75% of the protesters, rioters and paid cannon fodder in Portlandia (which got out of hand) happened to be non-voters and non-residents. Good for weaklings that that to protest an election they didn’t participate in. Charming.
Not to be outdone, the cast of the musical Hamilton decided to throw their dos pesos in. (That’s all it was worth.) When president elect Mike Pence showed up with his daughter for a fun evening at a musical, even all the Imodium in the world could not hold this spokesperson for the weak, lame and lazy back.
Nothing can prevent them from letting their grievances air. Just unstoppable.
The young man playing Hamilton, a nameless dude (I think his last name is Bag) trying to be relevant decided with the cast of nonwhites (perfectly suitable to portray our founding fathers) to call out our president elect. He did his best to embarrass and confront Pence and his daughter. A true patriot.
Pence has the class to leave while the donkey from Shrek brayed his political point of view. I know. It’s very harsh. And here’s why.
The jerkus americanus pleaded for inclusiveness and understanding because he was peeing his pants in fear that PlayDoh sessions, coloring books and puppy therapy just didn’t help enough he and his fellow cast members. He needed assurances that he could be right about everything and nobody in world could disagree with him and his fellow cast mates. They love and respect everybody that agrees with them. Hate everybody else.
If he’s president I will be eaten alive cuz I’m so tender…….I’m scared mommy.
Well, the little snowflake who raps about racially changed history turns out to be a complete fraud. He and the majority his little fragile cupcake cast didn’t even cast a vote. Yes, children……. opinionated trendsetters who failed to exercise their voting privilege now lecture real citizens on what’s wrong with America. Where’s the Charmin?
As if this insult to the office of the VP by a non voting racist and sexist wasn’t enough, his anti cop tweets are surfacing. Yes, a true spokesman for the dissatisfied snowflakes. Personally, I am glad a slime ball like that is dissatisfied. It means things are going in the right direction when people like him whine, whimper and wee wee.
Upon further inspection, this gent playing Hamilton appears to be a fraud.
Will this delightfully insightful plea to be noticed and coddled continue for another eight years? Lordy be I hope so. It’s so much easier to succeed in life while these diaper wielding nebbishes retreat to a safe place like Hamilton where George Washington is from Sri Lanka and raps about things only heard at an White Concert family concert. Totally X-rated.
Yes, your pet labradoodle can now get a job……. no……a career ahead of these socially, politically and emotionally challenged bed wetters. Even my chickens lay eggs and contribute something to the world.
So their bum bums don’t chafe.
Nonvoters telling voters how to live their lives to respect their wishies. The unmitigated gall. Worse than gall stones. Cheers!
Side note: The skid mark in lieu of frosting on the cake is that the mouthpiece of these little cuddle bunnies not only failed to vote, but he has threatened white women on Twitter.
His tweets: “St. Patty’s day weekend is like Christmas for black dudes who like white chicks. Happy holidays boys.”
And, “4 every racist comment I get about Trayvon Im going 2 turn 1 white married suburban housewife & mother n2 a jump off”.
And, “The problem is ho’s aren’t what they used to be. If ho game would step up, cats wouldn’t get distracted”.
For those of you that don’t know what he meant by “jump off”, it means casual sex in the least gentle terms with white wives and mothers. And “ho” is not what Santa’s sez…..
People that don’t vote and yet try to stop our democratic processes are just selling snake oil……. And they are snakes.
And he preached from the stage saying he didn’t feel safe. A true sexist……and hypocrite. Lucky for him, he lives in America where pond scum is accepted; even celebrated by many. Doggone lucky.
Soapbox felt good.
Happy Thanksgiving! An American Holiday…..again.
Be safe and enjoy the holiday!
All photos, artwork and videos used here are believed to be public domain. If there is any item that is copyrighted or owned by an individual or organization, please notify us and it will be taken down immediately.
There’s no stopping those Wikileaks!
In back-to-back interviews, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange criticized the U.S. media for “incredible politicization” in its coverage of the presidential election. He said they were biased. And he’s got a few more surprises on Hillary’s emails up his sleeve.
Assange spoke from the Ecuadorean embassy in London, where he has lived for nearly five years. He’s fighting extradition to Sweden where he is wanted on charges relating to sexual assault. What an exciting life he must have with those wild and crazy Ecuadorians!
Rocking it in Ecuador!
Assange said information regarding Clinton’s health is fair game…..because hacking one’s guts out at every event is a bit unusual. They have information on Trump as well, but whatever comes out of his mouth everyday is either funny, stupid or newsworthy.
It is difficult “for us to publish more controversial material than what comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth every day,” Assange said. He also suggested Clinton and other officials have enjoyed a form of “elite immunity.”
So the takeaways are that Assange is doing the work the media should be doing in the US. It also defines the unique privilege and tolerance for corruption the establishment has for its inner circle. Four dozen dead people (coincidentally or course) in your wake would shut me up just like it did Loretta Lynn.
Five out of six ladies in this photo knew a secret about the Clintons …. guess which ones.
It also shows that many view Trump as a reality star/carnival barker with no chance of winning. The race is close in spite of the fact Hillary has raised $435 million to Trump’s $127 million. Usually money flat out wins.
Maybe being a carnival barker helps. I dunno.
According to the latest studies about 3.8% of Americans consider themselves gay. Oddly enough, the public estimates the number to be much higher. In polls, Americans estimate 23% of their fellow Americans to be gay. Hmmmmmm.
It is difficult to train a chicken.
That being said, two things become very apparent. The first is: LGBTQA-LMNOPQRSTUV crowd has gigantic clout in American for such a small fraction of populace. They get cranky and shazam, laws get passed overnight. Even the Supreme Court rules on something that is beyond their scope. Really, they did.
A man became woman of the year for ESPN and we now have to endure anyone and everyone in public bathrooms and showers. I think is no longer a need for biology class. Yes, the group has clout.
Apparently our doo dads are now invisible and have no real purpose other than decoration……like Christmas tree ornaments.
Young Patina volunteered to be the family Christmas tree when they were very poor.
The other thing that is clear from these stats is that your neighbor thinks one out of four in your neighborhood is gay. So, if you’re a guy, skip the manicure and start wearing black socks with sandals. If you’re a woman, ditch your flannel winter wear no matter how warm it is……and buy a Toyota instead of your “safe Suburu”.
Everybody is suspect…..even the pooch.
Situations like this make it harder and harder to trust flying monkeys. Right?
For some reason our government has made gender bending all the rage. We cannot create enough issues to keep people employed splitting hairs for this group. Just look at some of the silliness the USDA is engaged in. That’s the good ole’ US Department of Agriculture. It’s no longer just for farmers.
This drives our government crazy. Just look at them!
- LGBT safe space training
The Forest Service, an agency within the USDA, paid more than $12,000 for customized “LGBT safe space” training for its staff, according to government contracts.
….yes, this is what is needed.
Employees at Siuslaw and Williamette National Forests in Oregon received the training from a company that specializes in “empowering change agents.”
Two separate contracts totaling $12,025 were awarded earlier this year to DRC Learning Solutions, a Portland, Oregon-based company.
It appears a tornado shelter is no longer a safe space. They need mood lighting, fluffy blankets, dry diapers and their binkies to farm. Remember when it took hard work, long hours and dedication? Now it’s pure corn, manure and social programs.
- Summits for lesbian farmers
The U.S. Department of Agriculture (yes, them again) is holding summits to promote the role of lesbian farmers as a part of its “Rural Pride” campaign. I bet every farming community is crying out for more lesbian farmers. Eeeee eye, Eeeee eye oh.
Putting potatoes in ones drawers was a way early “spinster” farmers kept men at bay.
The agency is working with singer and LGBT activist Cyndi Lauper for a “day of conversation” about the struggles of gay and transgender individuals in rural America. They want to change the perception of what it means to be a farmer in America away from the “white, rich male.” They would like to introduce poor mixed race lesbian farmers to broaden our horizons.
Cyndi is all for lesbian and transgender farmers, preferably of many colors. By the way…. Does the term cowpoke infer gender? Just asking.
This was before it was trendy for ladies to shave their legs……
- Studying how climate change affects gender
The USDA’s Forest Service also funded a study on the impact of climate change on gender, including LGBTTQ individuals. What do all those letters mean? This is really only half of the proper term…..
The study, “Climate Change Through an Intersectional Lens: Gendered Vulnerability and Resilience in Indigenous Communities in the United States,” investigated how global warming will impact men, women, and LGBTTQ individuals focusing on traditional responsibilities, diet, public health, economic impact and culture of the various genders within the indigenous communities. I know. Blather.
Yes, kiddies, climate change (if it’s real) will certainly impact the LGBTQ community differently. This narrative could go completely off the rails here so it’s time to move on…..
Brokeback Mountain is a much older story than previously thought.
Obama’s 18-year-old daughter Malia made headlines recently or being caught in a photo smoking marijuana. And no….that was not me next to her.
During Obama’s family vacation in Martha’s Vineyard, Malia was reported busted for being at a party that was shut down for noise complaints. The secret service came and took her away right as the police came in.
Let’s hope she never becomes a marijuana girl!
She will be going to Harvard University. A video was released of Malia smoking a joint and twerking. Obama told everyone that he was ‘furious’ at Malia for it.
She didn’t bring daddy a doobie and he cannot twerk. He had Reefer Madness!
Every time Hillary calls for Trump’s taxes to be released, he should simply say he emailed them to her.
Hillary got her sense of style from her great, great uncle Caitlyn Rodham Bruce.
Serious. No joke zone.
Sunni extremists are infiltrating the United States with the help of smugglers in South America and are crossing U.S. borders with ease, according to a U.S. South Command intelligence report. Yes, our government admits it!
The Command’s J-2 intelligence directorate recently reported that “special interest aliens” are working with a known alien smuggling network in Latin America to reach the United States. Who is shocked?
Army Col. Lisa A. Garcia, a Southcom spokeswoman, did not address the intelligence report directly but said Sunni terrorist infiltration is a security concern. That’s code for, “They are flooding in you stupid fools”.
“Networks that specialize in smuggling individuals from regions of terrorist concern, mainly from the Afghanistan-Pakistan region, the Middle East, and East Africa, are indeed a concern for Southcom and other interagency security partners who support our country’s national security,” Garcia told the reporters.
I forget…..why are we allowing this? Oh yes……. because it is working so well in Europe. They are only experiencing murders, rapes, kidnapping, pedophilia and other fun stuff on a regular basis.
Chew on these stats. 10% of the Syrian population is Christian. We are taking virtually none of them in because they generally vote a certain way. Look it up.
In the US we are taking in 99+% Muslims refugees from Syria, because they will vote a certain way. Over 300,000 in the last few years.
72% of the Muslim refugees arriving in Europe are males 18-45. 27.7% are elderly, women, children and a whole .3% Christians. That’s POINT 3%.
One article pointed out there were zero women and children on one of the ships. Government officials said the women and children were in a separate boat so they wouldn’t get raped. Isn’t that nice……so they wouldn’t get raped by the men pouring into the West.
It’s kinda scary.
The Trump statues. You may have seen them. Placed around the East Coast. Mocked and photographed.
Flabby older middle aged man, no family jewels, man boobs and microscopic manhood. The press and social media had a blast with it.
Millions of photos and videos.
If somebody did that to Obama, they would be a racist. If they did that to Hillary, they would be sexist. They did it to Trump and media was made it an international insult..
That’s how the media trains people to think. Think about that!
But his hair looked good and his face was a brilliant Cheeto color.
Donald got many style tips from his great, great uncle Ronald Mac.
Colleges are where some young people go to get wussifed and incur massive debt. Here is a fine example why they cannot leave home or tie their shoes at age 25.
A new academic paper from an Ivy League professor suggests that presidential candidate Donald Trump has more in common with Lord Voldemort than Abraham Lincoln. Ivy League……sure.
The Donald is meaner, badder and worser than this.
“Similarities between Donald Trump and Harry Potter’s nemesis, Lord Voldemort, have not gone without notice during the 2016 campaign,” wrote University of Pennsylvania Political Science Professor Diana Mutz, in her paper for the American Political Science Association’s journal.
Excerpts from the pinhead professor’s study entitled “Harry Potter and the Deathly Donald” …….
She believes that Harry Potter was so impactful on Americans, he will determine the election. “Because Trump’s political views are widely viewed as opposed to the values espoused in the Harry Potter series, exposure to the Potter series may play an influential role in influencing how Americans respond to Donald Trump.”
A picture of the author. She is odd……but an Ivy League prof none the less.
Mutz polled a sample of about 1,200 Americans and only asked them about their consumption of Harry Potter-related media and their attitudes toward various political issues and Trump. She operates like our very own media.
National and international media praised the paper as a work of academic wizardry. Genius.
“Could Harry Potter fans be the key to snatching victory away from Donald Trump in the U.S. presidential election in November?” Newsweek asked late this summer.
The UK newspaper The Independent exclaimed “Harry Potter could help stop Donald Trump becoming US president” in a recent edition.
Technology blog Gizmodo asked in July, “Can Harry Potter Affect This Presidential Election?”
The media can make some people tired and want to lie down by a pond.
“Can Harry Potter defeat Donald Trump? Is his orange wig actually a horcrux (not a bad word) that, if captured, could weaken the strength of his electoral base?” she wrote in the conclusion of the paper. “Just as He-Who-Must-Not-Be- Named gains power from having others refer to him, is Trump’s appeal likewise a function of nonstop media fascination and repetition?
“Perhaps most importantly, these findings raise the hope that Harry Potter (Hillary in a cape with matching pantsuit underneath) can stop the Deathly Donald from making America great again in the eyes of the world, just as Harry did by ridding the wizard world of evil Voldemort.” Those are the words of an Ivy League professor.
So if I understand this genius, Harrily Potonton can defeat Volderump in this election through magical, mystical means. Harrily is totally ready. She has perfected coughing spells better than anybody that’s still alive. At a recent rally in Cleveland she was hacking so hard, she reportedly spit up small frogs into a glass at a rally so she didn’t have to answer a question. Magic!
Fortunately, the frogs won America’s Got Talent and now have a gig in Vegas opening for Cher.
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We Never Learn…..
Yes…. we are all being guided by the “Big Fishes”!
This was originally written four years ago. It still rings true. Today we find ourselves in the same place with our politicians. Our presidential candidates are both basket cases.
One is a career politician and a pathological liar and the other speaks as if he has no brain or filter. We have had almost 16 years of erratic and often inconsistent leadership. Looks like we are in for more of the same with either candidate.
Whoever saw a fat Meth user? Anyone?
The old blog read as follows:
The dust has finally settled on the “tax cuts for the millionaires and billionaires” and we extended unemployment bennies so people don’t have to take one of those lower paying jobs for at least a another year. Of course, we are going to pay for all of this by printing tons of nice new crisp money and calling it all a stimulus package. Hooray! Problem solved.
Our leaders worked hard for this compromise. They all got together and made nice. They did a little give and take, found some center ground and told us they just averted a double dip recession. Oh sure there was the wailing and the gnashing of teeth by the far, far, far left and the far, far, far right, but cooler heads prevailed.
Too much to say…..too little time.
We got compromise! Side note: Does it seem like both sides are getting pretty extreme? You know, like lunatic fringe?
Were you moved hearing them talk about reaching across the aisle and working together? Were you touched to hear that there were trade-offs by the president and the Republicans in congress? Did it bring a tear to your eye knowing that we are being taken care of by our leaders because they were able to put partisanship aside? Then they told us it was actually a stimulus package. It is good for the country. It was all a bucket of you know what just a few months ago, but now it’s a STIMULUS PACKAGE!!!!!!
Yes indeed. Little Cedric thought it was thick delicious chalky milk. He did all the way to 11th grade. He was 23.
What they really told us is that the issues that they ran their campaigns on in October and November were all baloney, what was bad for the country a few months ago is now good. We saw leaders of both parties strong arm their members to get this thing signed. Once they did, they bragged about it publicly and hated it privately.
Well, it did little to restore my faith in government when I saw both parties completely cave on principles that they once held so close to their hearts during the last election. I’m not picking a side; I just see what I see.
When I heard about the back and forth by both parties I thought we are the ones that are being double dipped. Not once did we hear about the debt they keep adding to, we only heard the puffing and posturing of our politicians. There’s an election in a few years and our president and congressmen started running hard for re-election with this vote. The only thing missing is those obnoxious TV commercials.
Please……consider your Adam’s Apple!
So let’s look at this a little more closely:
Fact: The top 1% of income earners pay about one third of all taxes. Hefty, hefty, hefty.
Fact: Middle-class Americans–not the rich or the poor–pay the majority of annual tax revenues taken in by the federal government, according to data released in a new Congressional Budget Office study. Ouch!
Fact: Households earning less than $34,300 per year, meanwhile, actually pay a negative average federal income tax rate. Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy.
Perfect for coughs, asthma and bad breath. Still good today.
When it comes to the federal income tax alone (as opposed to Social Security, Medicare, excise and other taxes) the lower income brackets actually paid a negative rate, thanks to programs such as the Earned Income Tax Credit that paid people a “credit” for income taxes they never paid. The average federal income tax rate for households earning less than $34,300, according to the CBO, was a -0.4 percent in 2007, and the average federal income tax rate for households earning less than $20,500 was -6.8 percent. Yup! A credit for taxes they never paid. Juicy.
So in the end as a businessman or just an individual, what does compromise really mean? We see from politicians on both sides that it means to completely forego your core beliefs. At some point isn’t right right and wrong wrong? I have always thought of myself as a middle of the road type of person. I know in my past I have made compromises both in my personal and professional life. I even thought it was the right thing to do almost all of the time. In retrospect, it often wasn’t. I caved because it was easier and safer.
…..even her hat is made from Jell-O!
When we turn our back on something that we know is right (or truly believe in), it diminishes us as a co-worker, a leader or a business owner. When our leaders tell us something is morally wrong (like maintaining the current tax rate for the wealthy) and then vote it in, don’t they give up a chunk of their integrity? When they vote to extend unemployment benefits for another year and have no means to pay for it, aren’t they just putting us deeper in debt and prolonging the problem? Wasn’t this whole compromise just politicians shoring up their political bases?
As businessmen and women, we need to have the trust and confidence of our employees and co-workers. We must demonstrate that we are honest and individuals of principle. It takes more guts to agree to disagree and move on then to go back on our word and spin it to be something totally different than what we said we believe in. It takes character to make hard decisions. The way this last episode in DC played out, it makes you wonder what our leaders really believe in….sometimes it seems like their core beliefs are based on getting elected and re-elected….and nothing else.
Please….for the baby’s sake!
I am not a tax expert, but it does begin to make me think about a flat tax. Even those in a lower income group should pay taxes. It’s called being vested in the system. Let those that want government programs feel the bite of those programs. Let those with massive entitlement programs know what it feels like to carry them too. Have them pay half. We’re not in Kansas anymore Toto.
In many instances, government employees never had to contribute a penny to their pensions. It all comes from our taxes. And that old excuse that as a public servant they had to forego the riches to be had in the private sector is hogwash. Should they have the free pension and free health insurance and be allowed to retire years ahead of the rest of us? Why should some work until 67 so others can retire at 58? On the other hand, are some of us a little jealous? Hmmmmmm is all I can say.
Do you suffer from acid leg sweat?
The private sector has not been so shy. When our health insurance rates go up, we pay for it, when our benefits get scaled back, we deal with it. If we don’t put money into our 401k, we don’t get anything, we feel it…so should we all. The fact is times are tough and as a country we have to stop with the free rides and the coddling of voting blocks.
When our personal income drops, we have to cut back in our household expenses. So should our leaders. Yes, they may lose some of those voters that they catered to and it may cost them being re-elected, but at least they would be doing the right thing. The fact is that the wars, the bailouts and the entitlement programs have taken a horrific toll on our country…and now we have to pay the piper. It’s pretty simple, if you don’t take in more money then you spend, you go broke.
Yummy! Lime Jell-O with cottage cheese then filled with fresh canned tuna!
Those were the days.
When compromise adds to the downfall of your business, you know you screwed up. I haven’t heard that type of honesty from either political party and they both have made a mess of things….both parties….a big stinking mess. If our country was a business, both parties would have filed for bankruptcy over and over again.
December 20, 2010, Wisconsin based Kohler Co. ratified a new union agreement. The contract calls for a 5-year pay freeze, and workers will pay more for health insurance. As an incentive to ratify it, the company offered $1,000 signing bonuses plus additional holiday pay this year. The deal also includes a two-tier wage system and extensive use of temporary labor. The company was simply going to pull up stakes and leave if it wasn’t ratified. They said that they were done negotiationg. It passed by over 60%. Similar changes happened with other companies all over the country. The private sector sees it and acts. Bureaucrats just don’t get it.
The Krazminski sisters.
Each with a drum full of Beech Nut gum in snappy hats their mother made.
The states have to fall in line too. Some states (and we know which ones) have buried themselves in debt and don’t want to make the hard decisions to get out. The double dipping of state pensions, the unlimited resources of the tax payers went to the heads of politicians in a number of states going back years. Abuse, abuse, abuse. They are broke and nobody wants to give up a single benefit and nobody has the guts to take them away. You can’t keep borrowing money if you can’t pay it back. Stop the insanity!
Politicians need to be innovative. How about cutting unemployment benefits in half after a year? We all know people that don’t want to take lower paying jobs then the ones they had a year ago. It is more beneficial to collect unemployment and utilize the government benefits that go with it. It’s just too attractive not to work if you can sit on your butt and still pay your bills. I know these people.
Bring this to the next pot luck! Make friends. Spam….Peaches. Mmmmmmm
I would venture a guess that many would find jobs, maybe even two of them to make ends meet if they lost half of their benefits. There are jobs out there if somebody wants to work. Sometimes it’s just easier to take the hand out.
I really don’t get the theory of “Let’s go after the rich” either. The people that pay the least in taxes (if they pay any at all) are often the ones chanting that mantra. Where did the entrepreneurial spirit that made this country great go? When did it become a crime to work hard and be successful? Why do we demonize individuals that are successful? We don’t demonize pro athletes or celebrities that make insane amounts of money for nothing. But let somebody be successful in business and we say they make too much….tax the crap out of them!
Real ad….Ivory Soap. That’s a nurse with the garden hose. No comment.
There is plenty of waste to cut spending in our government….it’s just that nobody has the courage to act. It affects voters. Yes, some people will hate what happens to their pensions, their hourly rates, their salary, and their benefits. There will be moaning and groaning and lawsuits for sure. But millions of us have felt it for some time. We have to run our government like a business. It’s called “Pay as you go”. If there is no money for it, it’s not funded. Free rides are over!
And please God, make them stop funding asinine programs like ethanol subsidies. Really, turning food into an inefficient fuel is about as stupid as it gets. And there are tons of inane programs and projects that can go by the wayside tomorrow. We need the money. Stop the idiotic earmarks. I don’t care about the breeding cycle of the Fuzzy Mayfly.
Nurse Denton knows how to punish children.
Do the same with your business. Quit piddling money away on goofy stuff. Make smart decisions and don’t compromise if you know you are right. Make your actions align with your talk and be true to your vision. Communicate with your people. Let them know where you are taking the company. Let them be a part of your success.
Rekindle the American dream in yourself and your employees. Don’t say you are for one thing then fail to put forth the effort to make it happen. It makes you a phony. Your employees have hopes and dreams for a brighter future for themselves and families. Give them the opportunity to succeed. Your company will grow and be healthier then ever before.
Finally, I am not against compromise. Lots of subjects have grey areas. Some do not. As an amateur observer of politics I cannot stomach the insane, rigid rhetoric during the campaign season, followed by a 180 degree turn on promises (and principle). I hate it when they sugarcoat it with this compromise blather. That’s not right. Compromise should not be a four letter word…politicians just make it one.
The perfect gift. Buy Duz laundry soap and get a 60 cent meat cleaver.
Goes together like Clinton and Trump. Way to go America!
It’s been an interesting ride!
In a recent poll 60% of Americans said they feel “anxious” about a Trump presidency.
Conversely, Rosie O’Donnell, Kanye West, Whoopi Goldberg and Mylie Cyrus threatened to leave the country and move to Canada if Trump gets elected.
Now only 35% of Americans feel “anxious” about a Trump presidency as long those people leave the country.
95% of all Canadians are concerned about both.
Yes, every act is here!
An American mother-of-two took to Facebook complaining she was had to dump 500 ounces of breast milk at security at London’s Heathrow Airport. She did not use a stainless steel tanker.
Tootie Mamarie, was traveling without her eight-month-old son. “Authorities made me dump out nearly two weeks’ worth of food for my son,” she said. She was “humiliated”.
The UK rules, set out by the Department for Transport, say that liquids may only be carried in containers holding 100ml or less in a transparent and re-sealable single bag. It was also noted that the original milk containers cannot hold 500 ounces. It’s just too, too much. Tootie wouldn’t be able to walk.
It would have been easier to bring the moon jumping cow on board.
There are exceptions made in the case of baby food or baby milk but only if the passenger is traveling with a baby. It says excess liquids should be carried as hold (checked) luggage.
Ms Mamarie admitted she should have looked up the rules. She said that the regulation that breast milk was not allowed if the mother was traveling without her baby was “incredibly unfair and exclusionary in consideration of all of the other working mothers like me”.
Who would have thought they’d be stopped at check in with 50 chilled bottles of milk in a cooler? The questioning had to be awkward.
Lucille assumed if a turkey was well fed, it was stuffed. So she served it with raw veggies and fruit!
In a related story, Anita Nuther-Smokie said she wanted to create an ‘Adult Breastfeeding Relationship’. She then mentioned her idea to her childhood sweetheart, Brad Pierre Vert. Brad was parched so he was game.
“It was like a light switched flicked in his head. I could tell from his voice that he was curious and excited,” she said. He was talking baby talk in a high pitched voice he was so moved.
I put this here as Book of the Month! It’s a romance novel.
Anita quit her job so she could feed Brad every two hours. She told authorities she was an immigrant and the government instantly gave her $20,000 in freebies.
Brad went on disability. When Social Security interviewed him, he told them he couldn’t work because he was nursing every two hours. Instantly approved.
Brad, a bodybuilder, hopes to gain muscle mass by regular breastfeeding sessions. True story.
I so look forward to the Trump and Hillary debates…..with guitar and mandolin!
All politicians are funny……..sometimes. Hillary recently made a statement that gave me pause.
“We’re either going to have gangs that murder and rob … or we’re going to have positive gangs.”
Positive gangs. We have a choice. I agree with her. If thugs would only join positive gangs, a lot of bad things would go away.
Eugene and Henry never dealt with hand me downs……
If somebody did choose a bad gang and went to prison, Attorney General Loretta Lynch is there to help too.
An official with the Department of Justice said the agency will no longer call people “felons” or “convicts” after they are released from prison because it is too hard on them emotionally.
Ada McGuinnus was the biggest drug dealer in Australia in 1929. Sweet lady.
Assistant Attorney General Karol Mason wrote we should call them Naughty Good People or just Mistakers. Repentant Rapists and Merry Murderers did not make the DOJ’s recommended list of politically acceptable terms for felons.
Loretta will ask Bill what his suggestions are next time they chat about grand-kids for over half an hour on a private tarmac. On a Plane. Alone. No Secret Service. No recordings. No phones. Grins wiped clean.
This is why cats are prohibited from going to college…….they mess up the dorms.
President Nicolas Maduro of socialist Venezuela said electricity rationing would be imposed on 15 shopping malls and drought-hit Venezuela’s time zone would also be modified to save power. Yes, they are running out of everything.
Many of the South American OPEC nation’s 29 million people are suffering daily, unscheduled water and electricity cuts as levels recede at the Guri dam complex providing nearly two-thirds of power needs.
“The time has come to take a drastic rationing measure against a group of about 15 malls who did not obey the law and are consuming without conscience at a critical moment due to the ‘El Nino’ phenomenon,” he said, without giving further details. He inferred it was “Climate change”.
Climate change!?!? Does that mean we have to listen to Al Gore again? Noooooo!
The socialist government says the El Nino weather pattern is to blame for Venezuela’s water and power problems. But critics insist the state is also responsible for inadequate preparation, investment and diversification of electricity sources.
Nobody mentioned that they lived like tomorrow would never come when oil prices were high. It was like Disneyland for the masses.
But, they never upgraded their equipment and infrastructure; nor did they diversify. Oil prices dropped and the economy fizzled. And of course, the weather changed……like it has since the Earth as formed.
In spite of world problems, the carefree De Marco sisters still walk like Egyptians. In socks, on the beach. Francesca and Veronica.
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well …?”
She proudly replies, “I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38/24/34. When she walks into a room, everybody says……..oh wait second…..in my purse. Here’s her picture.”
The four men all replied, “My God!”.
As the first lingerie model, Nina La Roche always traveled with a giant stamp so her trips were pre-paid.
Federal taxpayers are on the hook for $19,884 just to settle each refugee and asylum seeker, who are then immediately eligible for cash welfare, food stamps, housing and medical aid, according to a new report on the “refugee industry.”
Yes, refugees are now and industry. I wonder if they form companies and we can invest. It’s a booming industry. Much like ammunition sales in Chicago.
This worked before texting. But why a question mark Mom? Not sure?
What’s the word that you would use for the Obama administration’s move to scrub references to Islam, ISIS and Allah from the transcripts of Orlando terrorist Omar Mateen’s calls? I’d say incoherent.
Here is an example of one line: Mateen: “I pledge of allegiance to [omitted]. “I pledge allegiance to [omitted] may God (substituted word) protect him [in Arabic], on behalf of [omitted].”
That sentence was scrubbed cleaner than a State Department server. It’s like Mister Clean rules DC.
Who says there’s no honest politicians? Look, I found one!
Bill: I, uh, I uh, I did not have….have sexual relations with that woman….uh, Miss Lewinsky.
Hillary: I did not have, uh textual relations with an…. uh, unsecured server and…involving uh, Classified Information.
….and I wondered, “Why the snail?”
A rash of recent military crashes has cost the lives of several service members as well as billions in damage. The wave of accidents raised questions about pilot training and maintenance of our aircraft. Top brass points to slashed budgets and aging fleets strained by decades long conflicts.
In the last few months, an MH-60S helicopter crashed in the James River in Virginia during a training mission. Just before that, two F-16C fighter jets collided in the skies over Georgia. Not everybody survived.
The Navy has suffered the heaviest losses of the three military branches. From October 2014 through April 2016, the Navy has reported accidents that total over $1 billion in damages, according to the Naval Safety Center.
They included a Marine AV-8B Harrier jet that crashed off the East Coast during takeoff in May, costing about $62.8 million, and a Navy F/A-18A crash in Nevada in January that cost $71 million. Thankfully, both pilots survived.
It’s just a cool picture. Dude.
More……. In the eight years since the first Littoral Combat Ship was delivered to the Navy, it hasn’t won many fans beyond the Navy, its home-state lawmakers and the employees of the two shipbuilders producing different models.
The maiden voyages have been marked by cracked hulls, engine failures, unexpected rusting, software snafus, weapons glitches and persistent criticism of how vulnerable they are to an attack. Sounds like they need AARP.
“The ship is just not reliable,” the Pentagon’s operational test and evaluation director said in a report. During 113 days of testing on one ship, some of the engines and water jets responsible for propelling the ship forward were out of commission for 45 days. However, it could go backwards to parallel park.
Remember long ago when bears used to drive and the only belts worn were around his mouth?
Defense Secretary Ash Carter expressed his concern and by ordered the number of new ships cut from 52 to 40, saving billions. They also ordered production scaled back from three to two ships in 2017 and said the work should go to just one of the two shipyards.
But GOP lawmakers inspired by contractor donations and determined Navy lobbyists are on the verge of ordering the Pentagon to build more bad ships!
A defense appropriations bill moving toward Senate directs $475 million be spent by the Navy to buy an extra ship next year. The House has already passed legislation that $384 million be spent on another ship. Yeah!
The Obama administration “strongly objects” to buying another bad ship. There’s no love lost between the Administration and the Navy’s command, which the Defense Secretary accused in a blunt letter of ignoring technical risks, neglecting war-fighting needs and prioritizing warship “quantity over lethality.”
I guess it’s a case of #badshipsmatter.
Moral to the two articles above: We are spending billions on bad ships and ancient planes. It’s called political gridlock and it endangers our men and women in uniform. Disgraceful.
When asked for his name by a barista at you know the coffee place, my neighbor answered, “Marc, with a C.” Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
Higher minimum wage paid off. He also got a smiley face. Bonus.
Long ago, it was tough getting your Caffe on the go!
I cannot remember where I read it, but I thought I read somewhere that if Donald Trump does not win, he will dye his hair black and tour Vegas as Elvis. Anybody else read that?
I actually think he would look the part.
Don’t ever be so jaded you don’t believe in miracles…..like Hillary ever making an error. Consider.
- Bill has a mystery meeting with AG Loretta Lynch on a plane in Phoenix a few days before an announcement.
- He claimed to be playing golf in 110-degree weather with his heart condition.
- There is no record of him at any course within 200 miles.
- A third plane besides his and Lynch’s is pulled onto the tarmac and the air conditioning is turned on.
- They meet for ½ hour and discuss grandchildren with all FBI and Secret Service personnel banned.
- Lynch then says the meeting was done in poor judgement however, she will abide by the FBI’s recommendations.
- A few days later the FBI is going to release results of their investigation.
- While FBI director Comey is giving his briefing, Hillary and Obama are leaving on Air Force One for a rally in North Carolina.
The timing is impeccable. It’s like when all the planets and sun all align perfectly every zillion years. It’s really a miracle of biblical proportions. Biblical. Epic.
Almost mundane by comparison…….
It has been widely reported that foreign hackers stole damaging intel about Donald Trump off of Hillary’s server. I cannot understand why anybody would have to research and store it on a computer……. let alone steal it. Just read his Twitter account.
Re-tweeted and deleted. There forever.
“Leightweight chocker”. Maid me lugh.
Just like Santa, the NSA knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice!
Do you remember when there was news before Trump, Hillary and Bernie started running for office? I know, it is very difficult to remember that far back. But it was a few short years ago that Julian Assange and Bradley Manning leaked tons of secret documents about the US to the entire world. Of course you know, Bradley is now a woman so he’s kinda making a news comeback. And Assange is still a pasty faced complainer in hiding.
Sometime back I wrote a little essay on comparing those giant security leaks to happenings in every office around our lovely country. I thought it was quite good. Last week a friend of mine brought it up and asked if i would consider updating it. Of course I said…….so here it i with updatess. Still very relevant.
Sometimes things said in private don’t turn out be so private…..
If you are an aficionado of politics and current world events, you cannot help but have an opinion on this topic. The intrigue and raw dynamics are completely intoxicating. To be an insider on world affairs and know the most private thoughts of world leaders is heady stuff indeed…and now we all have access to it. I was amazed when I read that the Prime Minister of Qatar said Ahmadinejad of Iran had told him, ‘We will beat the Americans in Iraq; the final battle will be in Iran”. That egotistical little twit! He should concentrate on getting a new barber and a new tailor.
Every politician and political pundit has an opinion on the subject and headlines are screaming about it around the world. The names of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange and US embassy cable leaker Army PFC Bradley Manning will be cussed and discussed in history books from now until the end of mankind. There are individuals that say that transparency in government is necessary while others say state secrets should be secrets. Not sure who is right. The real questions are “How did this happen?” and “Why did it happen?”
This could very well affect American diplomacy for years to come. Manning leaked over 250,000 confidential embassy documents to Wikileaks and they began publishing a number of pages a day starting on November 28th of this year. The trust level (or lack of it) towards our diplomats and our country in general may have repercussions that last for years.
….and once a leak starts, you could have a dam mess on your hands!
Again, we asked “How?” and “Why?”…and now you’re going to get the answers. We all have played this game. It’s called Gossip, Secrets and Power. That’s not a Milton Bradley board game or an interactive Wii game for family and friends. It’s played at work and any number from two to thousands can play at once. It can be rated anywhere from PG-13 to XXX.
Next time your go to work or talk to your employees, really use your eyes and ears because it’s here, there and everywhere. Every company has to deal with it. But it’s not just the gossip that’s bad; it’s all the embarrassing crap that comes out about special deals, favoritism, secret alliances and hidden agendas that anger us. Management gets extra mad when it’s the truth. Management wants to keep those secrets secret. It happens in every single company and most of us play our role. That’s the “Why” part.
Now for the “How” part. Let’s look at how some lowly PFC could trigger all of this. As a result of 9/11, there was a huge movement for better communication and extensive sharing of intelligence among government agencies both at home and abroad. The reasoning was that the more our different governmental agencies shared, the better we could prevent, deter and react to acts of terrorism. This makes complete sense and sounds perfectly logical. So with all of this hot gossip floating around like snowflakes in a Wisconsin blizzard and all these people having access, it was only a matter of time stuff leaked out.
Even gossip from a tree is bad.
What our leaders forgot is to watch what they say because people like to gossip. They have their own agenda. They want to be needed. They want to be important. They don’t want to feel powerless. They want to right a wrong. They want to set the record straight. They want to be included. They want to feel powerful. They feel their ideas are noble. They have a cause. They are right. They are the majority. They are the persecuted minority. They have reasons. “They” are all of us and “They” can’t keep their mouth shut!
In every company, management hates gossip. It’s a pain for HR, because it’s sooooo subjective. Every HR person has the difficult job to keep the company secrets hush hush. Yet they have to be fair because somebody simply told the truth to somebody else and the boss found out (we just call it gossip because we don’t like it). Why we ask again? It’s because so many of the nasty little tidbits that embarrass management are true. Does this sound like the Wikileaks saga?
But we’re never like that. Yes, as pure as the driven snow. Right?
Now there may be a few of the “Do Gooder Companies” that claim to have policies where they have no secrets, they are open, they are fair, they are perfect and oh yeah that trendy word transparency goes here. Well, they are also full of it. Every company does exactly what our government does. They all want to appear on the up and up. They all want to appear fair. They all want to provide the right type of environment for subordinates to do their job the best they can. They all have good intentions and they all have things they would rather keep quiet.
Reality is, that along with power can come questionable decisions, unfair practices even abuse. That’s why Manning did what he did and Assange did what he did. They wanted to expose the questionable decisions, unfair practices and abuse. That’s what happened here and that’s what happens in companies everywhere.
In the Wikileaks case, aside from the embarrassment to our country and the multiple world leaders, the real damage is the potential for lost lives. I don’t take that as lightly as the rest of this blog. That’s serious business. In the business world, people get fired and sometimes people go to jail or they just get mad. But the parallels are uncanny.
To be truthful…..we are all guilty to some degree.
The following is directly quoted from the Wikileaks site. It shows how noble they believe their cause to be.
The cables show the extent of US spying on its allies and the UN; turning a blind eye to corruption and human rights abuse in “client states”; backroom deals with supposedly neutral countries; lobbying for US corporations; and the measures US diplomats take to advance those who have access to them.
This document release reveals the contradictions between the US’s public persona and what it says behind closed doors – and shows that if citizens in a democracy want their governments to reflect their wishes, they should ask to see what’s going on behind the scenes.
Every American schoolchild is taught that George Washington – the country’s first President – could not tell a lie. If the administrations of his successors lived up to the same principle, today’s document flood would be a mere embarrassment. Instead, the US Government has been warning governments — even the most corrupt — around the world about the coming leaks and is bracing itself for the exposures.
Even a smooth talking frog cannot cover that which has been uncovered.
I can understand where they are coming from. I don’t buy into all of it, but their reasoning does have a sense of righteousness and logic to it. Assange has called Manning an unparalleled hero. Manning is in custody and his future is not too bright. Assange is wanted for this and other crimes. He is in hiding with Interpol looking for him. People are calling for his life. Wikileaks has been booted from American site hosts and their site is under continual cyber assault…all because they believed their cause was noble. They just didn’t think of the repercussions. Maybe they did. I’m really not sure.
Think on these noble causes:
- Somebody gets to use the boss’s condo in the Bahamas and you didn’t. Boss thought he did a good deed for somebody, you thought you got shafted. You told somebody. The boss found out. You’re in trouble and your life is miserable for a year.
- The boss uses company labor to move his furniture. Workers are on the clock and you’re paid based labor efficiencies. You tell a friend and it goes up the ladder to the owner. Your boss gets fired immediately…you follow three months later.
- I won’t even go into the whole thing about what people get paid, who got a raise and how discretionary bonuses are figured. Stop here and think about all of that money talk you have heard about or been a part of (long musical interlude goes here). Wake up now, it’s the 21st century.
- The boss tells certain people they can leave early to vote because he believes they will vote like him. This is a personal favorite of mine. Lefties and righties are both really good at this and try to keep it under wraps. They accuse the other of doing it with the proper amount of righteous indignation.
We all know that this list could go on forever. The only problem with it is that we are all guilty of this to one degree or another. All of us can recall dozens of things we witnessed, instigated, reported or simply passed along. We are all participants. All, all, all.
Even top secret projects got exposed.
Every boss knows that it is an accepted thing in many businesses that power has perks and those in power have a right (even an expectation) to take advantage of it. Your employees know it too. Conversely, every employee that feels like they have been wronged believes they have a right to complain about it to their coworkers or even take it to the courts. Sounds like Wikileaks to me…..
So what are the lessons learned? What pearls of wisdom should we glean from all of this? I was hoping that somebody would walk in my office when I got to this part and say something that would trigger a really brilliant summary. Nothing happened. Dead silence. So I must strike out on my own.
Yes…..I played football with a turkey because I had no friends. So what?
First of all, you must know that I am not writing this from an ivory tower, I have been on both sides of the fence. I have fallen off the fence on each side and landed squarely in the middle too. That was certainly the most painful. I have received the perks gratefully from those above me and have been embarrassed and pissed off when word got out about perks I secretly gave out. I have been loved and hated by coworkers and bosses alike for my involvement in these types of situations. The most important ones I somehow managed to keep secret. Dumb luck. And now it’s time for the advice.
Bosses – know that many of the things you do for certain employees or for yourself are well known and discussed by your personnel. It will likely get out and usually does from the most unlikely source. Often those that benefit can’t help bragging about their special status. Don’t be surprised or vindictive when it does leak. Deal with the fact that the truth sometimes is just plain painful. If you don’t want something to get out, don’t do it.
Worker Bees – Gossip is just plain hard to resist. It can bite you in the ass. The wonderful person you’re telling now may be mad at you next week and your little secret can blow up in your face. Remember life is unfair. Unless you are willing to pay the consequences, don’t try to be Joan of Arc. The Crusades ended a long time ago. It was before cell phones. Shut up.
So if you pick a crusade, pick a good one!
In our own little worlds, every day we cope with people who believe their cause is noble. Sometimes we are the ones with the noble cause. Sometime it is management with the noble cause. I hope in the end we all feel the tiniest twinge of guilt and smile. Because just like the Wikileaks saga it is about gossip, dirty little secrets and power…only we don’t get the headlines. Phooey.
And if you think any of this is about you, keep it a secret. That works well. Just kidding.
Don’t say anything. The government is never wrong.
Seventy-two-year old Daljinder Kaur delivered a healthy baby boy, Arman Singh, on April 19. That’s a mere 46 years after her marriage and over 20 years after menopause.
Desperate to have a child, Kaur’s wish could be fulfilled through in-vitro fertilization, where everything is done in a sanitized test tube. It’s also away from the dust, cobwebs and Daljinder.
Kaur’s 79-year-old husband, Mohinder Singh Gill, travelled regularly with her to the treatment center in Haryana since 2013 to ensure the success of the treatment. Because Mohinder wanted to be ever ready. He was bunny-like. He fell in love with Dixie cups.
Follow up story two days later is that gramps wanted granny to get prego so he could inherit some contested family property. This had been going for years.
Well, it looks like the baby will inherit some property in the future…… very near future.
The parents were so old, the baby was born with a beard.
The most recent numbers from the California Tax Board show nearly 90 percent of the money comes from 20% of the taxpayers…… those making $91,000 and up. And about 60% pay nothing at all.
It works just like in the pictures!
From an average of almost $173,000 per return in 1994, the average adjusted gross income for the top fifth of taxpayers reached nearly $238,000 by 2013, a 38 percent increase. So under this administration and the new Democratic governor, the well-off got much more well off.
Forty-five percent of the state’s income tax money comes from the top 1 percent of filers – those with adjusted gross income of at least $501,000. Those taxpayers recorded an average adjusted gross income of $1.6 million in 2013, almost double what it was in 1994! Shazam!
Average adjusted gross income for middle income filers in the second-highest fifth dropped by about 1 percent, from $67,507 to $66,746. Adjusted gross income in the second-lowest fifth declined the most, 9 percent, from an average of $22,391 to $20,411.
Really, if the poor and middle class would just take this stuff they’d be fine!
This is not the redistribution of wealth we were expecting. How’s that hopey changey thingy working for the middle class and poor? Notso hotso.
Do you think it’s true when people say if you took all the money in the US and divided it up equally, so that everybody had the same amount, in 20 years, the same people would end up rich and the same people would be poor? I do.
When a joint or martini just won’t do.
Methodist Bishop Maria Alonzo Caronita Cha Cha Cha’s church receives millions of dollars in federal grants each year to house unaccompanied alien children. She claimed in a House hearing on that the U.S. has “raped” immigrants’ home countries. Here is her story.
Hey lady! This is the real reason!
Her Pacific Coast section of the church’s Board of Child Care has received over $7.6 million in federal grants in the last three years to provide shelter and services for unaccompanied alien children who are apprehended crossing into the U.S. illegally.
“What is your church doing to discourage people from coming to the United States illegally and staying in the United States illegally?” Virginia Rep. Bob Goodlatte (not a drink at Starbucks) asked the bishop during a hearing of the House Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee on Immigration and Border Security.
“We are working to welcome everyone using the American’s taxpayers’ dollars for non-citizens”. Vets should like reading that…..
“We also provide them all with a case of Coca Cola and some fancy clothes!”
“That is very concerning to me,” the Congressman replied, adding that the United Methodist Church (UMC) was “essentially aiding and abetting” illegal aliens.
“We do not ask people their immigration status when they are hungry,” said Cha Cha Cha. Nor do they turn down big money to break the law she failed to add.
That’s when the bishop launched into an attack on U.S. foreign policy, claiming America has forced Central Americans to flee their homes and come here. She explained that’s why when people protest, they wave flags from their own countries they left behind. They want America to become just like those rotten places they fled so they can be miserable here too! She really didn’t say that, but I thought it was clever.
There is not one gang member, terrorist or felon in the group. See, here’s a picture!
“Immigrants want to stay home,” she said. “They’re not able to stay home because we’ve undermined their economies. We have raped their lands.”
When asked how that was done, she instantly became a mute that did not know any English or sign language. Pity.
A giant woman with alcohol. Revered by tiny men with none.
If you are into porn ……things are about to get a lot weirder with the upcoming addition of Ted Cruz look-alike Searcy Rendaring’s sex tape. She catapulted to national spotlight recently when she appeared on The Maury Show.
Everybody noticed she looked like Ted Cruz in drag. From that you know she is not a looker. Neither is Ted.
So that sudden flurry of publicity drew the interest of the porn website XHamster. They offered the 21-year-old and her 25-year-old fiancé Gilbert Befat thousands of dollars for a short sex tape……six minutes. I guess that’s the limit of even the strangest aficionado.
Everybody’s running out to get it!
For $10,000, the Rendaring/Befat duo will be recording sex tape that’s yet to be titled. That’s about $1,666.66 for each steaming minute. Steaming as like a fresh cow pie on a chilly fall day.
The Mississippi mother-of-one says she didn’t have to think twice about making a sex tape because she’s done them before and she needs money. “I’m okay with the tape. I want the Tubman’s.” she said. “I wanna spoil my kid rotten.”
Really Searcy? Who names a kid Rotten?
XHamster spokesman Mike Issis was quoted, “Ted Cruz with a wig is right up our alley. I think a lot of XHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action. Or maybe they wanted to see Ted Cruz in action. Either way, it works”.
Rendaring’s fiancée is ecstatic over his love bucket being famous. “It’s kind of exciting to know she’s famous ………why she’s more famous than Madonna!” he commented.
Madonna immediately issued a fatwa on the family.
It will be filmed on a smart phone…… smart, but hopefully blind.
Little Simba, an apricot toy poodle was among the first to try a special bathroom at New York’s John F. Kennedy International Airport. It was one of the first among a growing number of “pet relief facilities” being installed in larger airports.
This dog is a frequent flyer and has his own orchard in Australia. Koalas work for him.
“There’s a fire hydrant in there!” Simba’s owner, Heidi Hohoho, squealed with joy as she pushed the twin the paw print-marked doors between the men’s and women’s rooms open.
Most millennials used the paw print door too. They have no idea who or what they are.
Little Simba marched his fuzzy wuzzy cuteness right up to the little red hydrant atop a little hill of artificial turf and promptly peed on Heidi’s new Sparkle Sketchers. A dispenser of plastic doggie bags and a hose was provided for the owners to clean the area or themselves up for the next duo. Luckily, Heidi had a Wet-Nap handy.
After that, Heidi strapped this on Little Simba and hewas immediately housebroken.
The 70-square-foot room, at JFK’s Terminal 4, allows dogs and other animals to relieve themselves without to go outside – which requires a second trip through the security line. “Other animals”……..hmmmmm.
Guide dogs, emotional support animals even homely children traveling with passengers are welcome to use the facilities. I wonder if this will apply to trans species. You know, like an iguana that thinks it’s a cat…. or a human that thinks they’re a dog. Time will tell.
A federal regulation will require that all airports that service over 10,000 passengers per year install a pet relief area in every terminal by this August. Thank God for big government addressing animal body functions!
And you thought peeing issues were just for manly girls and womanly boys and those that don’t know or just wanna try something new. Oh relax, it’s the truth.
….and where does this one go? Anywhere they want to……
Aaaaaand what if your emotional support mini pig doesn’t feel safe peeing around a big hairy dog? What then Cupcake?
Just think of the nervous little support bunnies around mean old puddy tats! They will certainly need their own pebble pooping area. What then…..huh, what then?
Serious….where would a manly Puss in Boots go?
Val Rust, a professor of education and information at UCLA, was the target of the protestors for what they feel was racial insensitivity and micro-aggressions. The “aggrieved minority students,” claim that the professor was wrong to correct spelling, punctuation, and grammar in the papers of minority students.
This picture triggered micro-aggressions as well.
Yes, a Professor of Education was wrong to correct spelling punctuation and grammar…..of college students! I know…..incredible.
Call 2 Action: Graduate Students of Color, launched a sit-in to protest this outrage, said the act of correcting a minority student was “micro-aggression.”
Yes….. even gentle enough for a college student.
But it gets better……
The group issued the following statement:
“A hostile campus climate has been the norm for Students of Colors in this class throughout the quarter as our epistemological and methodological commitments have been repeatedly questioned by our classmates and our instructor. The barrage of questions by white colleagues and the grammar ‘lessons’ by the professor have contributed to a hostile class climate.”
First of all, if you cannot read, write or speak English in college, how would any of them know what “epistemological and methodological commitments” means? Certainly the students were clueless……
My advice is that these students immediately quit school, get the psychological help they desperately need and repeat elementary school. Then come back and complete their education once they are potty trained.
A college textbook of today.
Who wants to wager if they are there on some free tuition program? Anybody?
Political correctness…..when there’s just not enough cuckoo in your life.
In a quiet residential street in Kawasaki Japan is a remodeled workshop with a creepy gray exterior and black draped windows. It is also creepy to live in a city named after a motorbike. Just sayin……
Jean-Paul would have named the city Zee Fastone.
What’s inside? Sousou! It’s one of Japan’s newest corpse hotels! A camouflaged morgue used to store some of Japan’s mounting pile of bodies waiting to be toasted in one of the nation’s overworked and overloaded crematoriums. People are simply croaking at a record rate.
“Crematories need to be built, but there isn’t any space to do so and that is creating funeral refugees,” said Hisao Takegishi, who opened the business in 2014.
Whenever Yu Tu Fani was ill his doctor just replaced parts. He wasn’t cremated when he passed……… he was recycled.
I say let the funeral refugees into the US. They’re safer and don’t eat as much!
For a mere $82 a day, family members can keep their deceased relative in one of Sousou’s 10 rooms for up to four days until a crematorium can be found.
You know, that Fukishima nuclear reactor is still leaking. Couldn’t they just be clever and use that to char a bunch up and get rid of the back log?
Japanese use to be so clever. Put that leaky reactor to work!
Let’s be creative. Never waste a good fire.
A sex toy found by a 21-year-old rural Indonesian fisherman, Hoo Siurd Addee was taken home, dressed up, and worshiped as an angel for weeks, proving yet again that love is a many splendor thing.
This is an angel. See the wings?
The fisherman took the doll to his village, where it was dressed in a blouse, skirt, and hijab. His parents reportedly changed its clothes every day “as a sign of respect.” Dirty Harriet felt loved for only the 1,873rd time in her life.
Reports note the “naked, fair-skinned girl” impressed Hoo with her “round green eyes and an expression of ambiguous rapture.” She even looked like she was singing. Awwwww.
My angel is a what???????
Photos and word spread online, along with rumors that it was a “bidadari,” a type of spirit or angel. That rumor was bolstered by a solar eclipse that occurred shortly before the doll was found and reports that it had been crying when the fisherman found it……but Harriet was just leaking air.
Police launched an investigation. They determined the angel was actually a blowup sex doll and confiscated the angel.
Nobody has seen anything of the three man police department for weeks. Just a stack of empty frozen pizza boxes outside the police station door.
They kidnapped Harriet?